pablotron
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Michael Jackson's Moonwalker

Srl sent me this god-aweful ROM to try. I thought I'd take screenshot and post a description so everyone else could play it vicariously and avoid some of the pain.

The game is pretty much garden variety side-scrolling platform. You play Michael, and you attack by either shooting what appears to be fairy dust or magical sprinkles from your hands and feet, or dancing your opponents to death. Each level has up to 10 hidden little girl clones (and no, I did not set that picture up -- that's actually the pose he makes when you get close to the little girls). Once you find them, Mr. Bad shows up, laughs at you then runs away. I can't blame him for laughing at Michael, but I have don't understand why he runs away. since the Michael's sprinkle/fairy dust attack does essentially no damage, except for the 8-pixel spider thingies.

Anyway, here's the screenshots. Don't ever play this game.


Title Screen
moonwalk-00 Title screen.

Rooftop Jam
moonwalk-01 I'm uh, dancing on a rooftop.

Doggy
moonwalk-02 Notice how Michael's magical dance powers affect the little doggies as well.

Street Thugs
moonwalk-03 Who's bad?

Parking Garage
moonwalk-04 Michael, busting out some mad choreographed moves with a bunch of identically dressed hooligans in a parking garage.

Minivan
moonwalk-05 I always hated minivans.

Magical Moonwalk
moonwalk-06 Well, you can either kill them with the fairy dust that comes off your feet, or dance with them. Obviously, I opted for the latter.

Enemy Base
moonwalk-07 The beginning of the last level. By this point in the game I hated every Michael Jackson song ever (or at least the MIDI interpretations of them).

Dance I Said
moonwalk-08 Who's your special move daddy?

Graveyard
moonwalk-09 Not sure what level it is, but I'm using the special move to make everyone dance.

Caves
moonwalk-10 Using the special move to make all teh bad guys dance some more. :)

More Caves
moonwalk-11 Notice how the spider is dancing too.

Silly Monkey
moonwalk-12 After you find all the little girls on each level, a monkey (I think it's a monkey, but I'm not sure) appears on your head and guides you to the boss for the level.

Another Monkey Shot
moonwalk-13 Here's a shot of the monkey pointing me towards the boss.

Magical Moonwalk
moonwalk-14 Well, you can either kill them with the fairy dust that comes off your feet, or dance with them. Obviously, I opted for the latter.

Enemy Base
moonwalk-15 The beginning of the last level. By this point in the game I hated every Michael Jackson song ever (or at least the MIDI interpretations of them).

Dance I Said
moonwalk-16 Who's your special move daddy?

Michael's Battle Plane Finale
moonwalk-17 The exciting almost-3D battle with the final boss.

Eat My Dancing Torpedoes!
moonwalk-18 Apparently he dies if you keep the little blue pixel centered in the bottom-right console for long enough. This is the only way I could really figure out what was going on.

Credits
moonwalk-19 Um, the credits. :)

Very End
moonwalk-20 Thank Christ it's over, and I never have to play it again.