#!/usr/bin/perl -w

#######################################################################
# vpenis.pl - calculate vpenis size                                   #
# by Paul Duncan <pabs@pablotron.org>                                 #
#                                                                     #
# Ripped from http://tigert.gimp.org/files/screenshots/vpenis.c       #
#######################################################################

use strict;

my ($script, $fh, $size) = <<END_SCRIPT
echo \`uptime | grep days | sed 's/.*up \\([0-9]*\\) day.*/\\1\\/10+/';
  cat /proc/cpuinfo | grep '^cpu MHz' | awk '{print \$4"/30 +";}';
  free | grep '^Mem' | awk '{print \$3"/1024/3+"}';
  df -P -k -x nfs | grep -v 1k | \\
  awk '{if (\$1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= \$2} s+= \$2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'\` | bc | sed 's/\\(.\$\\)/.\\1/'
END_SCRIPT
;

open $fh, "$script|" or die "couldn't open pipe: $!\n";
chomp($size = <$fh>);
close $fh;

print "VPenis: 8" . ('=' x $size) . "D ($size).\n";